a few weeks after you-know-what five years ago, a friend of mine displayed the NY times from September 10, "to remember the last day the world was normal."  however, it didn't take long before i realized how abnormal sept. 10 really was. on  page 2, there it was - suicide bombing in Jerusalem, nearly 40 people dead or wounded.   terrorism was real before i knew about it, i just didn't care because my brother didn't live in the gaza strip. 

that's why, in a way, i'm glad to be a part of a world in which 9-11s happen.  not to say that it wouldn't have been better for all those people to still be alive, but, in the words of the bible, "what men meant for evil, God meant for good."  or, in the words of one of my favorite phil keaggy songs,"suffering restores us, burns away the empty shallowness, softening the heart to be broken bread and poured out wine."  i haven't realized until today just what happened to me through the tragedy, and that God used it to change my heart.  like i said before, my brother doesn't live in the gaza strip.

"apathy in the face of human suffering is the worst form of evil."  i wish i could say i made that up, but i didn't.  before the world came crashing in on me, i was apathetic in the face of human suffering.  my brother doesn't live in the gaza strip.  but at the time he did work in manhattan. for the first time in my life, i had a reason to panic from something i saw on television.   i thanked God a million times when we got a phone call saying he was safe, my family cried together and hugged each other, more together then we've ever been before or since. 

cut to a worship service in the park two weeks later.  i have no idea what band was playing or what church was in charge, but my life was changed.  it lasted several hours, some of the most heart felt crying out to God i've ever experienced.  we got into small groups, to pray.  requests starting pouring out for all the people dying, missing, and grieving, nearly everyone i talked to seemed to know at least one person directly affected.  then the worship leader did something really bold.  he asked us to pray for the people who did this to us, because Jesus taught us to love our enemies.  "osama isn't such an evil sinner that God can't save him, and that's something we should be praying for."   if the poles are reliable, it is almost inevitable that at least someone in that park voted for the bush in the last election.  but when one of the guys in my prayer circle said that "i really don't think we should attack afganistan, because that's only going to create more violence," both me and my other partner agreed. 

a few weeks later, i looked at the news and saw starvation, genocide, death, war, and felt pain for the first time in my life. .  i later learned that pain was called love, and its what Christ felt on the cross.   i realized that i do have brothers in the gaza strip, hundreds of them - God was breaking my heart, and I was beginning to see the world through His-Her eyes 

i haven't had the chance to watch television much in the past few days,  so i don't really know what the media is trying to tell you what you should feel about what happened. i do want to encourage you - to not use the pain in hurting others or getting bitter- getting angry at clinton, or bush for letting it happen, or using it to prove that the believers in the world's fastest growing religion are all insane bloodthirsty killers.  instead, use it to examine your heart, and try to show love to those around you

together, i believe we will stop the cycle of hatred.