just when i thought my perception of the world couldn't get
any more intense, my gluttony for getting involved in any extra-curricular
activity that doesn't involve playing sports or being republican has come back
to bite me.



i spent this weekend in uptown, trying to get a sense of what homeless people
go through by both talking to whoever would listen to us and trying to live
it.  it wasn't about feeding or helping them, but about learning from
them, forming relationships while we (not us and them) endured the city at its
most merciless. 



final reflections... this world is fucked up.  i'm sorry, but i've run out
of polite words that help me work through it.  God created humanity in
His-Her own image to live in a certain way, but society ain't operating according
the designer's instructions, by a long shot.  beyond simple material
comforts that i knew the urban poor don't have, probably the worst part of
their lives is all the little things against you.  is it really necessary
for seats on the el or bus stops to be curved in the middle and have arm rests
that make it impossible to lie down?  why do restaurants keep their dumpsters
locked - if they're throwing stuff away, why should they be afraid to give it
away to someone who might have a use for it? when we were sleeping under an
overpass (we didn't last long doing that - it was really cold) a police officer
came up to us (because, technically, we were breaking the law by
"loitering" there)  and  asked what we were doing. 
when fearless leader kelly (yes, this is the same kelly who did my hair, i owe
that girl mad props)   talked  him out of arresting us and
explained what we were doing - he said "yeah, well, you have to understand
that homeless people choose to be where they are - they get into drugs and
become alcoholic, and stop looking for things that can help them." 
none of us responded to him... but i kind of wanted to.  homelessness is a
miserable life, no one would ever choose it.



before getting to the streets, i mostly expected the people i met to be stupid
freaks, to put it bluntly.  my mind was filled with all the stereotypes of
the drunk and dirty illiterate guy who thinks he's from saturn.  what i
found instead was many wonderful, intelligent, and wise people. some of them
were well-read, and eager to communicate their ideas and often very exciting
life experiences.  some held to their religious beliefs very deeply, and i
learned to call them brother or sister in Christ as we cried and prayed
together.  i did meet one guy who called himself an atheist "because
of what i've learned from philosophy."  he went on to talk about
cultural constructions of reality and about how he didn't think any one
religious view point was sufficient to fully explain how the idea of God is
within every human culture. i listened to him in silent awe, unable to answer
him and silently repentant for judging him  because of where he was on our
socio-economic totem poll.  



ultimately to be homeless is, just that, to be without a home, to have no
private space or personal community of individuals who can support you. 
my weekend was full of a lot of boredom, of walking around and feeling empty,
and of trying to spend several hours in mcdonalds before they kick us out for
only buying a cup of coffee and going to sleep.  the people i met had both
sinned and been sinned against, but then again, who hasn't?  all of
humanity has to deal guilt, anger, and regret from painful pasts.  the
only thing separating me from the people i met this weekend is that i grew up
in a supportive community that could help me get where i am.  where i
could take my pain to social networks filled with people who told me how to get
by and gave me love and encouragement.



  but, there are other people in this world who don't have that. 
they can't trust anyone but themselves, they have no where to go but places
where they're not welcome. the streets are filled with brilliant people, who
are slowing going insane because they have nothing to depend on - all they once
believed in has fallen apart and left them alone. all human beings are
radically dependent on each other, no one can survive on their own - because it
is only by mattering to someone else that we get the motivation to keep
surviving. more then a hand-out, or even a hand-up, what Christ in the
poor really needs is our love - reminders of a God who cries for their pain and
cares for them enough to expel the demons that keep this world light-years away
from His-Her kingdom. 

Currently Reading Colossians Remixed: Subverting the Empire By Brian J. Walsh, Sylvia C. Keesmaat see related