| | i am the folk singer
sick of the prisons your expectations place on me.
i smash the guitar that made you love me
singing with the rock band, violating your expectations that keep me safe..
i love life, so i scream.
i am deaf to your boos, hearing only my blues.
all i can do is sing "it's all over now, baby blue,"
and say "i'm sorry, but you made me this way."
i am the prostitute
sick of the way your slime defiles me
imprisoned
seeing no escape, wanting freedom more than anything,
but caught in paying for the sins you committed
with shame, blood, and tears.
i love life, so i scream.
orphaned by my life
high from my pleasures
each attempt to break free only pushes me further in
i see a new man passing by,
silently hoping to be listened to
waiting for the one whose going to set me free.
i am the gorilla , trapped in a zoo of my own making
some ignore me, others laugh and look to me to be amused by their superiority.
("I thank you, Lord, that you did not make me like that tax collector"...)
in a glass cage, unable to see my boundaries, but knowing their's no escape.
i love life, so i scream
and then, i take my body, and smash it against the walls.
again, and again, i push, hit, and claw at my invisible prison.
sometimes it feels hopeless, but other times
i see the sunlight shining through newly formed cracks.
so i keep fighting the wall,
day and night, i never stop pounding on the walls
that keep me away from you.
i know, that one day, everything will collapse
and i will be new
so i never stop pounding the wall.
these are the moments, when i feel empty and hopeless. of all the lies that attack me when these moments of darkness come, the worst one is the fear that God will find me useless - that i'm too in need to help anyone else.
but these are also the moments, when God (and in the best times, those around me) flood into my life. it's at these moments i know i am loved, and it's at these moments, that i learn how to endure - to keep holding on to God and my life, in spite of how i feel.
to those of you who have been supportive of me in this time, i can't thank you enough.
"i need you
you need me
we're all a part of God's body
stand with me
agree with me
we're all a part of God's body
it is His will
that every need be supplied
you are important to me
i need you to survive"
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| | Posted 5/3/2007 1:18 AM - 20 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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